The Rules

What you're agreeing to

SexySwabs is operated by SexySwabs LLC. When you buy from us, you're entering into an agreement: we send you premium cotton swabs, you pay for them. That's the core of it. Everything below is the fine print that makes lawyers comfortable.

The product

SexySwabs are cotton swabs. They are intended for cosmetic and household use. The packaging includes usage guidelines. What you do with them after purchase is your decision. We are a cotton swab company, not a medical authority.

We make every effort to accurately represent our products on this site. Photographs may vary slightly from the physical product. The cotton is still dense. The stick is still bamboo. The box is still black.

Orders and payment

All prices are listed in US dollars. Payment is processed securely through Stripe at the time of purchase. We reserve the right to refuse or cancel orders if we suspect fraud, which has nothing to do with you personally.

Subscription orders ("The Arrangement") are charged automatically every 8 weeks. You can cancel anytime through your account or by emailing support@sexyswabs.com. Cancellation takes effect before the next billing cycle. We won't make it difficult. Life is too short for hostile retention flows.

Shipping

We ship within the United States. Orders are processed within 2 business days and typically arrive within 5-7 business days. We are not responsible for delays caused by carriers, weather, or acts of nature. We are responsible for putting the right product in the right box and getting it to the right carrier. That part we take seriously.

Returns and refunds

If you're not satisfied, contact us within 30 days of delivery for a full refund. We don't require you to return used cotton swabs. We don't want them back. We trust you.

If your order arrives damaged, email support@sexyswabs.com with a photo and we'll send a replacement immediately.

Intellectual property

The SexySwabs name, logo, product photography, and website content are the property of SexySwabs LLC. You may not reproduce, distribute, or create derivative works from our content without written permission. You may, however, tell your friends about us. We encourage it.

User conduct

Don't use this site for anything illegal, harmful, or fraudulent. Don't attempt to interfere with the site's operation. Don't submit false information. These are reasonable expectations. We have the same ones for our cotton swabs.

Disclaimer of warranties

Our products are provided "as is." We make no medical claims. We are not a healthcare provider. We do not guarantee that our cotton swabs will improve your quality of life, though anecdotal evidence is compelling. Any resemblance to medical advice, expressed or implied, is purely coincidental.

Limitation of liability

To the maximum extent permitted by law, SexySwabs and SexySwabs LLC shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, or consequential damages arising from the use of our products. We make cotton swabs. Please use them responsibly, or at least with the awareness that you are making a personal choice that nine out of ten otolaryngologists would advise against.

Governing law

These terms are governed by the laws of the State of North Carolina. Any disputes will be resolved in the courts of North Carolina. We hope it never comes to that. It's cotton swabs.

Changes

We may update these terms from time to time. Material changes will be noted with an updated date above. Continued use of the site after changes constitutes acceptance. This is the one warning on our packaging we expect you to actually read.

Contact

Questions? Email legal@sexyswabs.com. We promise the person who answers will be more interesting than the person who wrote these terms.